Matador Network
Matador Network is the web’s largest travel magazine. Our fast growing community includes independent travelers, as well as athletes, journalists, photographers, filmmakers, and writers we sponsor to produce original investigative works. Our mission is to empower, connect, and feature travelers promoting culture, conservation, and sustainability around the world.

We gave our contributors at Matador a guerilla mission to “assess” how and where people get fucked up all over the globe, and to write about it as transparently as they could. The results were fairly predictable: Journalists found themselves breaching security, riding ill-recommended ferries, and dialing into places “half naked in the back of a stretch limousine, with Moet champagne cascading down [their] tits.”

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How to piss off a South African

Make the Danny Archer (Denni Acha) voice.

Seriously bru. Tell me “This is Africa.” Or some shit about “coming here with your leptop computer and your hend senitaazer and hoping to make a diffrins.” Or anything about “fokken prawns.” Just try it.

We have dozens of different accents, from fossilized 1960s BBC English through to a form of lyrical screaming endemic to the Cape. But all that anyone seems to cast for in movies is a kind of flat Afrikaans that it’s then assumed we all speak, and will find screamingly funny.

So when I come pick you up from the arrivals terminal at the airport, tell me how I sound nothing like a South African and persistently quote Blood Diamond and District 9 at me. Or tell me I sound exactly like it. See what kind of a turn our friendship takes.

(Read more here)